It is really astounding as one ages to watch what you took for granted suddenly disappear. In its place is someone you smiled at briefly in restaurants or felt kindly toward because they seemed so spry for their age. But it was never someone you identified with, because they reminded you of life’s impermanence…of the passing of physical youth, health, and beauty. Yet, that “elder” has become you, and you have no idea how or when it happened! As we grow into advancing years, we’re suddenly confronted with the unavoidable truth: People are born, we grow up, and we die. Emptiness becomes fullness and emptiness again. The flower fades, and so do we. Or do we? It depends on our focus.
As I observe physical changes, I recognize something else. The reason it is all so surprising is that who I relate to inside has always remained the same. When I look at my interior self, there is someone who is no age, no gender – only pure consciousness. It is unmoved by my tantrums, unfazed by events, and surmounts all grief. When I look to this aspect of my self, I find a comforting presence that remains itself no matter what. And in this, I am aware that when we are in full bloom, we are a full cup, and as our physical body deteriorates, we become an empty cup. Yet, when we look at our interior life, we might say that in our youth we are empty, and if we age well, we are full. However, beyond that…inside we are no cup. What remains and what is real is consciousness, pure in essence, without form. Full cup, empty cup – no cup. Ahhhh.