Seasons of the Soul

Staying Centered

 

 

 

Don't know if any of you have noticed how intense this time period is. Regardless of what is happening in our personal lives, there is a level of tension that underlies action. In the populated areas it is more pronounced, because the stress level is also fed by news of the latest fear scenarios. In our personal lives, we may be feeling things in a more pronounced way, making mountains out of mole hills, or taking things to extreme. Even our joy might be magnified.

It is in these times that the ability to find our center is important. Through the bombardment of whatever, reaching a space that is not determined by the outer world or our emotional state of being is essential. When we feel ourselves moving out on the edge of potential despair, crisis, fear...whatever pulls us...we have to make a conscious leap back into the center. And the trick is how to do that.

First of all, if the crisis is an emotional reaction to whatever we are confronted with, we may not have much choice but to engage in the immediate response. The key is to remember that behind that reaction is a space of tranquility. So as we express our feelings in the moment, we are equally aware that it is not the whole truth, nor the real space that we choose to occupy. If we were to liken this to a tree, the center of the tree would be the place to which we return. The emotional reaction would be us on a branch, out on a limb. We have climbed there in the moment, but will go back to the trunk, which is the solid, stable part that upholds everything else.

So we can do this when we are confronted by fear, with momentary bad news, disappointment, tragedy - with all of the things that tend to make us feel alienated, confused or at a loss. Just as we are told that a major disaster is imminent, we can see the effects of our own internal and external storms in life. There are periods that are more stressful than others, just as there are times of more grace than others.

The key is to recognize all appearances in life that cause extremes as "weather." Our true nature is the residing aspect found in the quiet centered place of our being. It is our task to be mindful, to be conscious (even in our "unconscious" moments), and to find our way back to that space that provides nourishment and poise...our true home.

Whether through meditation, prayer or affirmation, we are required to take action to return to the center. It does not happen automatically until we reach a level of detachment whereby we are consciously aware and practicing serenity even in the midst of chaos all around us. But, before we reach that stage, we have to find our way back again and again. To do so is to develop a strong spiritual muscle that will uphold us in the times to come!

Overcoming Expectations

 

 

 

In an exploration of expectation, I’d like to share the following with you. I had lunch with some dear people - a couple who had fallen in love very quickly. They had gotten together and were now going through the tremendous fear of what this would mean. It seems that so many people long for love, deeply yearn for it, go out to find it – but when it is actually presented, are petrified by the ramifications.

As we get older, there is SO much more baggage that we carry. And when we have expectations about how a relationship should look, feel, be (i.e. a fantasy), we will always run from the reality because that is a day-to-day affair. Many of us have had our share of those who wanted relationships and were petrified once they saw what was actually in front of them.

Whether we are in or out of relationship, we are often loaded with past experiences and expectations that keep us bound to a concept of relationship rather than its actuality. Relationships are daily acts of living, loving, understanding, annoyance, forgiveness...the whole ball of wax. To think relationships of the heart will fulfill some fantasy projection is to miss the richness and texture of REAL involvement. And expecting relationships to be perfect is as misguided as expecting life to be perfect

When we can be open to giving and receiving, and to receive what is given with gratitude, that is a start to a good relationship. By overcoming fears based on past disappointments in relationship, we signal our willingness to take what is given as an opportunity to stretch and grow even more. This allows for the building of a relationship. By overcoming expectations of what the relationship SHOULD be, and appreciation of what it actually is, there is room for tremendous growth and healing. Because when we overcome expectations, we make room for love, and love is the ultimate healer.

It requires courage to live. It requires maturity to face ourselves in others. The risks of relating are great, but so are the rewards.

Right Action

 

 

Have you ever noticed that once you express something...it comes back to haunt you?

What do I mean? When we set ourselves up to comment on a particular lesson we have to learn, or we are in judgment over an action by someone else, or we are feeling particularly "proud" of ourselves for our achievement. WHAM! Whatever we are expressing from a point of separation is drawn to us so that we may PRACTICE right action.

What is right action?

Right action might be considered neutralizing our tendency to react. It is the ability to have the things we project once again turned toward us so that we are the recipients of those projections. If we can get our egos out of the way, we can see how perfectly the law of cause and effect works - how instantaneously our own inner thoughts of condemnation or whatever is mirrored right back so that we have an opportunity to "right" the original action/reaction. We might have the projection played back to us in several ways or repetitiously until we "get" it until we no longer need to project that separateness.

And projections also come to us of a positive nature. Those are much more fun! It would be an interesting exercise to watch our projections throughout the day. What are we putting out (projecting) and what is coming back? How much is positive and how much negative, and in spite of WHAT it is, how often are we able to maintain neutrality?

 

Risk to be Healed

 

Thought for the Day: It is sometimes a great risk to involve ourselves in the process of healing (and I use the term healing in relation to any desired need). What may heal us can be very frightening, life altering, and behavior changing. We all say we WANT to have those things in our lives that will bring us fulfillment, but what we are often really saying is that we want the end result without the ACTION required to achieve it.

When we pray for something, we need be mindful of the prayer. Source registers the prayer, and often the agents of healing related to the prayer appear. The problem is, although we may recognize the possibility, we haven't prepared ourselves to make the journey required. So perhaps prayer should be for the ability to be ready FOR the healing, rather than for the healing itself. In other words, "Help me to prepare myself as needed to receive......" "Help me to recognize the gift of ......in request to my needs." "Help me to have the courage needed to be healed." "Help me to have the courage to take the first steps in relation to my prayer."And as a good healer acquaintance once said, "When all else fails, use the prayer of the moment - one of my favorites because of its direct simplicity." Curious, I asked, "What is that?"

He smiled. "It's a one word prayer that gets the point across, and that one word is HELP!"

Whatever the need, whatever the desired outcome, remember the necessity of asking for the ABILITY to recognize the gift that is given, AND the ability to receive it!

Expectation

 

A thought for today:

When we are bound by expectation, we are limited in what we can receive

I was talking online with someone recently about relationships. This person was having a tough time relating to the person she loved, and it boiled down to the tremendous burden of expectation we have placed on relationship. Many of us, growing up as baby boomers, had very poor role models for what relationships really were. Ozzie and Harriet, Father Knows Best, and Leave it To Beaver were charming idealized caricatures for television, but certainly not reflective of the “real” world of relationships.

In all relationships there is the necessity to remember that we LOVE or LIKE that other person. They are not the enemy. Neither are they there for the sole purpose of fulfilling our desires. By projecting our expectations about how they "should" respond, what they "should" be doing in order to make us happy, we are constricting possibilities.

Our actions are often born of our own frustration or feelings of inadequacy, and those responses often are directed toward the very people who are our most intimate companions. If only they would act appropriately “everything would be fine”.

Welcome to the real world! If instead of projecting our expectations on to another, we would take a look at what is behind that expectation, we can begin to work on the areas within ourselves that feel incomplete, frustrated, disappointed, hurt, etc., and we can work with ourselves to overcome our need to scapegoat another (no matter what we call it). Generally, if we are honestly willing to evaluate our projection of judgment on another for what it really is, we will find fear at its base. And that brings us to a whole other level of self-discovery and inquiry.

From Opposition to Polarity Thinking

 

As I was talking the other day with a friend about life and our tendency to view things as either/or, he mentioned that we need to move from opposition to polarity thinking, and presented the following example.

If you think of a piece of paper with 100 at the top and 0 at the bottom, you would tend to think in terms of 0 being the least and 100 being the best. This is opposition thinking. However, if you made the 0 ice and the 100 steam, the element in between would be water. There would no longer be better or worse, because water becomes one or the other depending on temperature. So the steam, the water, and the ice all coexist in a state of equality. They are merely variations within a given polarity, not opposition. 

I think this is a good visual example for expanding perception and moving beyond either/or.

Look At What You Have

 

 

 

 

"If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough." Oprah Winfrey

 

This statement parallels a great reminder. Until we can be grateful for what we have, there is no reason for us to have more because we don’t even appreciate what has already been given. Life gives us so many opportunities to see the gift in everything around us. The most important thing in life—air, is freely available, yet we pollute it and lack appreciation for the life-giving quality that comes with no strings attached.

As a people, we have a tendency to continue to want more, and in the wanting, to exploit. This is a base desire to mold our environment to what we want it to be—a selfish view of life. It is a bit infantile, and as we mature, our process is one of recognizing the major gifts that life has already given, and how much is in store for us as we work in harmony with nature and life’s rhythms.

Whenever I am tempted to look at something in my environment and think about what I wish it would be—like a new bathroom—I am brought back to what is important and at how fortunate I am to have a roof over my head and facilities to use that are in place. How precious a bathroom becomes when there are so many around the world who do not have the luxury of indoor plumbing.

By reminding ourselves of our good fortune, regardless of whether we are in a small apartment or tiny house, we remove barriers to receiving, and if it is right for a remodeling job, it will come—but not because of dissatisfaction. Rather, out of a sense of honoring and enhancing what is already present. One way of viewing it is that finally we get rid of the old. The other is that we are thrilled to be able to better utilize and beautify our space.

So, whether it is large or small, a want or an attitude, let’s look at what we DO have with great appreciation. By so doing, more comes, even if it is only the sense of well-being and great joy in being satisfied and grateful for what we’ve been given already.