Seasons of the Soul

We Don't Necessarily Know

 

 

Years ago a black teenager was being tried for manslaughter in the death of his friend. A group of friends met at one of their homes and found a rifle owned by the grandfather. It wasn’t loaded, so they passed it around and looked it over, pointed it, and in their exuberance, pretended to shoot one another. The problem was, there was a bullet in the chamber, and the young man on trial killed his best friend.

My friend was a juror on that trial, and she said when she looked at the young man and saw the grief on his face, she knew he was not guilty of murder—that it was an accident.

After all the facts were presented and it was time for deliberation, the jurors met to discuss the case. One woman, the wife of a deputy sheriff, insisted the young man was guilty. My friend argued that he was not. As they were locked in deliberation, the gun was brought in for the jury to look at. They passed it around, and the deputy sheriff’s wife pointed the gun at my friend, who jumped out of her seat and said, “Do not point that gun at me!” The other woman said there was no problem as it was not loaded, and my friend said, “That is exactly what those boys thought, and you are doing the same thing!” The jury recognized the irony of that moment, and rendered a verdict of “Not guilty”. As the jurors filed out of the courtroom, an elderly black gentleman approached my friend and thanked her. He told her he knew she was responsible for saving his son from prison, and that the boy had not been able to sleep ever since the accident. “Believe me,” he said, “my son is not guilty. He has suffered and will continue to suffer over this for the rest of his life.”

We must be careful not to rush to judgment. This true story is an example of life held in the balance, and had it not been for the gun with the jury, the verdict may have been very different. We often think we know...but do we?

Just remember - when you are tempted to condemn; bless.

When you are tempted to judge; forgive.

And when you see injustice, pray also for those who are unjust,

for they are in deed in need of the most help.

Only through love can we be the change we want to see.

The Circle of Love

 

 

Come out of the circle of time and into the circle of love.

~ Rumi

 

When we are bound by time, we unwittingly play into a mindset that creates a past and future. We look back or forward with expectation or reminiscence, but always with an attitude toward a frame of reference, and in so doing, we are bound by limitation—for we project desires, fears, and historical memory to all that is now and yet to come. We know that spring is passing, so we expect certain things from summer and from fall, and on and on. Yet, we have seen many times how nature will surprise us with something other than what we expect or anticipate. Being bound by seasons or time only serves to limit our possibilities.

As we see time passing and relegate ourselves to an age—any age– we have an expectation about what that must mean. And yet, why should it? We are being held hostage to a historical context that feeds on itself and blocks a bigger vision.

Love has no history, no desire, no projection of how we should be at a certain time in our lives. Love just is. Love boasts not, wants not, looks for naught, keeps no score, cares not about our age or position in life. Love does not project outcomes— it just is. And when we move into the circle of Love, all things are possible because our hearts are open to the goodness of life without being hampered by a time frame. We move out of habit, out of expectancy, and into the arms of acceptance...the arms of transcendence...the heartbeat of Love.

The Things We Remember

 

Randy was a little boy who came from an alcoholic family. His father would squander the family finances, leaving little for his wife or child. When her husband would come home drunk, Randy’s mother would go through his pockets and take the change, putting it into a small tin she tucked away in the back of a closet so that the little boy could have a treat now and then, or do something nice.

My friend lived up the street from Randy, and even though she didn’t know the circumstances, she knew something was not right in that household. Her daughter was close to Randy in age, and when she got little gifts for her, she would often pick up something for Randy, too. One day, my friend's husband invited Randy to go to the carnival with their daughter, and he was happy to be asked. However, once at the carnival, he began to cry, and my friend’s husband asked why he was crying. He said it was because his mother had been saving for months, and had given him what little she had so he could go to the carnival, and he felt ashamed.

My friend’s husband told Randy that he had not invited him to the carnival to pay for himself, and that he should take the money back to his mother. Randy enjoyed himself for the rest of the day, and never forgot the kindness of my friends to him as a child. Years later, when he was grown, he came to visit them and told how much what they did meant to him—that it had saved his life during a very rough period. He brought his fiancé to meet them, and kept in touch through the years. Their kindness made a major difference in his life.

Another friend told me she had recently reconnected with her first husband from many years ago. She’d found pictures that she thought he should have because he had two nieces he adored, and the girls were in the pictures. When she got in touch with her ex-brother in law to give the pictures, his daughters, who had been the little girls in the pictures, called her and told her how much they had missed her through the years—that she had meant the world to them. They remembered all the kind things she had done for them as little girls, and my friend was flabbergasted. She never thought her efforts had meant anything. Yet, they had.

Children do not forget kindness. Most of us think that our words or efforts on their behalf have little effect, but if we go back into our own memory as children, we can often find that there are adults who stand out in our mind—who provided encouragement or helped us through something difficult. Perhaps it was a teacher, perhaps a neighbor or friend of the family. But it may also have been someone who did or said something meaningful to us just at the right time—who saw us as valuable and worthwhile human beings. The connection may not have been long—but had an impact.

Just as we remember the people and events that hurt us as kids, these good memories are forever etched in our minds, too. The beauty is that we can pass this on to other children. It doesn’t need to be anything huge, but the little kindnesses that recognize a child’s qualities, or encourages their talents. There are many little kids like Randy out there, and one day we may also be thanked for having made a difference in someone’s life. What a gift!

 

Impermanence

 

 

It isn't good to know too much. It is deflating to the idealist in us who seeks to do good and believes that good will prevail. Yet, after years of observation - and indeed with the reality of life - everything takes much longer to change and often reverts again and again to the lowest common denominator. And in truth, everything dies.

Our good deeds appear to die, our noble inquiries fill us for the moment and help us move through the seeming travesty of life - we make a heady contribution, and then we watch the purveyors of whatever pull it apart or twist it to their own intention. Yet, in spite of it all, we proceed.

 I think it boils down to doing what we do because it is innate and instinctive and that is what we do - not because of any outcome. Outcomes dissolve. There is always a new scheme, a new disease - and this seems to be the way of Earth. Impermanence, impermanence, impermanence. So the Buddhists say. Don't be disappointed in the truth. Don't be swayed by events. Just be the presence you want to be.

I have a great-aunt who is 98 3/4 - she points that out very proudly (the 3/4 part), and she has a wonderful attitude of enthusiasm and childlike excitement about things. She looks forward to family gatherings and her one great delight is going to play slot machines once or twice a year. She plays all of $20 in nickels and quarters, but the delight she exudes has the whole family looking forward to these adventures with her.

We are drawn in by her fun loving spirit and thrill at being at a casino. When she is gone, none of us will ever go again. It wouldn't be the same. We'd bring our ho hum minds with us. But for that brief few hours where we indulge her in the joy of pulling slot machine handles and watch the little symbols jump around until they land in one or another position - we are transported out of our knowing and brought into her childlike sense of joy and wonder. And for a few hours the world is gentle, kind and simple. There is something completely innocent and fun about the way she views life.

We hope my great aunt will be with us in this exuberant form for more years. She is our antidote to too much news, too much greed, too much power, too little grace. (She lived four more years, 2 days from her 102 birthday).

It isn't good to know too much. It jades us. Truth is, we will all pass out of this "illusion" into another form or space, and all we will have (perhaps) are the soul qualities we've gathered and expressed while here.

There may be no other grand assignments, but we certainly can take this vital energy that is still ours and put it into things that bring meaning and comfort to us - and perhaps inspire others in the process. Once I realize I'm not going to change the world, I don't have such a burden of assignment. However, I can choose which lens to use in viewing life and pick the one that unifies me.

From Seasons of the Soul 2004

The Crock Pot of Life

 

 

One day we were making baked beans. The beans were cooking slowly for 2 days in the crock pot, and the comment was made, “It’s always so odd when you start out, you think the beans and water and other ingredients will never amount to anything different because it takes so long for them to blend together and become fully cooked.” Yet they do. And it does take time, reminding me about us. Like those beans, we’re all in the crock pot of life. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like anything is happening. We feel as though we are just simmering along. And yet, as we look back through the years—we can see how the flavor and character of our nature has developed. Each ingredient of life has added and contributed to our fullness. We’ve sometimes had the heat turned too high and may have gotten burned, but at just the right time those ingredients that no longer contribute to what we are becoming are removed and something else is added to bring us to another stage of flavor and readiness.

Age is a helpful tool when used properly, for we can go back and reconstruct the recipe that brought us to who and what we have become. Then, through the vantage point of years and experience, we can co-create ourselves with the benefit of knowledge based on what has gone before. We know what was too hot, and what was a waste of energy. We recognize those ingredients that contribute to our wellbeing, and those that do not.

Yes...life is like the crock pot. And when we allow ourselves to be worked by a master chef, we are all assured that at the end when the cooking is done, we will be a unique and flavorful masterpiece—the result of all that we have gone through to ripen into what we were designed to become.

Rain

 

 

She had been shopping with her Mom at Walmart. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout.

We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Walmart. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried summer day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall, so I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child come pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

Her voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in ...."Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked. "Let's run through the rain!" She repeated. "No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied. This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain." "We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said. "No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm. "This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?” The little girl looked surprised. "Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said. Then off they ran.

We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I was one of them.  I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday.

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

~Author Unknown

The Gift Within Language

 

 

 

There was an article about a forgotten language used by a Native American tribe in California called the Maidu. What was very interesting within the article relates to the importance of language, culture, and creation.

We get upset about people from other cultures coming to the U.S. speaking their language in preference to English, but for native peoples, the arguments for language preservation are deeper and more personal. Language, more than any other single human creation, is the living artifact of a culture. Constructed over successive generations, it embodies the cumulative memory of a people’s beliefs and knowledge, their stories, their names for things, the conventions that they use to tell each other about the world.

One young man from the Maidu tribe has used his knowledge of Maidu plant names to unlock the secrets of traditional ecology. The Maidu name for “pine tree” translates as “wind-lessening tree,” indicating that the pine was used to shelter oak trees, thus protecting the precious acorn harvest.

If we would take time to investigate the gifts within different languages we would learn valuable things about our lives. How would we know that a pine tree lessens wind in English? We wouldn’t. But this important link to protecting the food harvest is spoken of through words that represent the understanding and knowledge of people with much longer histories than our own.

In Maidu tradition language was one of the first gifts the Earthmaker gave to beings he created. In other ancient cultures, the gift of language was considered equally sacred. Language is a link to heritage – a link that reaches back to the creation of the world.

Summer Herbal Tips

 

 

I buy basil at farmers markets or from Trader Joe’s with the longest stems I can find. I fill a glass with water and put the bunch of basil in it, then put it on my kitchen window sill where it gives a fragrance of basil and is handy for putting in special dishes or salads. Sometimes the basil even starts growing, and I’ve kept it for as long as two months before it wilts. You can also clip other favorite herbs and try the basil in water method or let them dry by hanging them.

Lavender sprigs can be found at farmers markets now and are wonderful air fresheners. If they start to shed you can rub the blossoms off the stalks and put them in a bowl or fill silk pouches or small plastic baggies punched with holes to put in drawers. If you have lavender bushes, be sure to cut the flowers when the buds come out. Trimming increases next season’s flower yield.