Seasons of the Soul

Sunflowers

 

 

They start as a small seed...you know, the kind in a shell with stripes that you force open with your teeth. I walked through the garden with my three packets, deciding where to plant them.

I’d pick one up, wish it luck, and push it into the ground, repeating the process again and again until they were all gone. Each day, I walked through the garden to see what was happening, and lo and behold, little sprouts emerged. Some of them grew faster, and others slower. There were 3 different species I’d planted.

I went around the garden counting. How many sunflowers were there? As summer unfolds, the sunflowers are unmistakable. First, I had to search to find them, but at latest count, there are approximately 35 growing throughout the garden. Some are very tall.

Sunflowers are cute...even before they have the flower part. The leaves are growing very lush and bushy at the top, and wherever the sun is, that’s where the leaves point.

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. There was a full moon, and when I walked into the living room, the backyard was flooded with light. The sunflowers were all reaching out in the direction of the moon, just like they do to the sun. So, they aren’t really sunflowers. Nor moon flowers. They are Light Flowers, and they soak up all that solar/lunar energy to bear seeds that can be eaten and replanted, creating more and more and more.

Finding Joy

 

 

 

A friend called the other day and complained about her husband’s lack of appreciation for all she does. This issue is not new. My friend has felt resentment all her life, from the time she was a child. She gives to everyone else out of a sense of duty, but in the quotient has forgotten the most important recipient—herself.

She grew up thinking that to do things for herself was selfish. Many of us can relate to that. However, if we don’t take care of us and bring things into our lives that give us joy—somewhere along the line, we are going to be angry and resentful for all we do, because others don’t reciprocate in the way we think they should.

Self-love is not selfish. It is love for the Creator’s handiwork. After all, something much vaster than we created us, and isn’t it our duty to take good care of that gift?

In looking at our journey, it is important to consider what brings us joy and happiness. It isn’t the big things that sustain and nourish us. It is the daily kindness to ourselves that creates a solid foundation so that we can give to others with love and gratitude in the giving. When our cup is so full that what we do takes nothing away from our essential well-being, it merely adds to our sense of joy.

Simple pleasures are important. For me it is a cup of tea in the afternoon, and going into the garden to marvel at the plants, or pluck weeds. This fills me with joy. I also take into consideration the child part of myself that is very strong. I get colored pens and pencils and draw or paint, and sometimes play at my keyboard. These things bring delight. They make my day enjoyable. There is work, and there is play. There is helping and giving to others, but always the gift of treating myself, too.

After talking, my friend determined that the one thing that brings her joy is her animals, for whom she has unconditional love. We discussed the possibility of her volunteering at the local humane society to bring her special gift to animals in need. She loved that idea. It was something special just for her.

So for each of us...what brings us joy? Let’s find it and do it!

 

Attach-Non Attach

 

 

There are moments when my heart swells with an overwhelming sense of beauty. I am touched by the garden, by a sunset, by the kindness of someone, or the miracle of human nature at its best, and I am able to bless the little animal dead on the road, bless the love that appears to go away, and the death that leaves the place of mother void.

That place where love is deeply felt is ignited also by splendor...not merely sorrow...but they seem to be two halves of a whole, as Kahlil Gibran said in The Prophet. While happiness is in your bed, sorrow is at the footboard, and visa versa.

Attach/non-attach - the accordion of one's heart strings - and perhaps those are the very combinations that create the symphony of life. We are not one dimensional. We are not one note. We are all of it.

Messages from the Garden

 

 

 

I was doing summer weeding in the garden, and as I worked, watching the weeds grow after only having picked them a few weeks before, it dawned on me that weeding is as much an ongoing part of life as everything else. Somehow we have the idea that if we’ve done something once, it should stay “done.” Yet, a garden is alive, as is our dwelling...where dust accumulates and crumbs spill on the floor. Cleaning and clearing are always going on in nature, and we need to realize that the same holds true for us.

We eat, digest, and eliminate waste. We don’t do these things just once – they are a daily routine. So, in the scheme of things, life is always dynamic - always a process. We are in the building up stage or the breaking down stage. We are planting AND weeding. We are walking through our clean surroundings AND messing them up at the same time. The dishwasher is loaded - then the dishes are cleaned and unloaded, and the process takes place again and again.

Instead of bemoaning things never fully done for “good,” we can recognize and appreciate the gift of movement. We grow into ourselves through the changes and the repetition. It takes us time to see the full gift of life’s annoyances. But once we do, we can smile with appreciation. Here we are: the flower—the weed. Not “either/or,” but “both/and.”

Again and Again

 

 

 

I have a game on my computer that is a form of solitaire called Free Cell. You can play the same game over and over again if you don’t get it right...choosing to have the hand re-dealt until you figure it out. I sometimes play the game as a form of relaxation, but in doing so, am aware of how each incorrect step that defeats me leads to greater awareness the next time around. I make different mistakes each round until finally I see the pattern that wasn’t clear previously. Then I am able to “win” the game.

And that always reminds me of what we do in life. How many of us can point to repetitious patterns that emerge over and over again, giving us the opportunity to take what we’ve learned and apply it when a similar situation arises? To me, it shows the incredible patience of life outworking. The seed is planted at birth, and we begin to grow into the role we have been given. We take twists and turns, congratulating ourselves for our successes and bemoaning our failures. But, in actuality, we are playing the hand we’ve been dealt given our perception in the moment. And when we don’t see the snares ahead, and make moves that later are regretful, we will have something similar come into our lives at another point to give us the opportunity to deal with it differently...to replay with greater awareness.

It dawns on me that we live as long as we do so that we can figure out the puzzle that we are, to put the cards down in winning combinations, and to recognize the benefit of the errors along the way.

It has been said that those who have the greatest success have also experienced the most failure. We tend not to look at failure as a stepping stone to achievement. Yet, when we were small and started to walk, if we gave up after the first few falls, we’d all be sitting on the floor, crawling at best. That’s not how we’re designed. The brain takes in the stimulus, processes it, and if we are willing, flags the “failure” next time, giving us an opportunity to choose differently. And after the trial and error process (no matter how long), we can experience the fullness of victory hard won.

To make a “right” choice in the beginning doesn’t lend itself to the same level of depth of character that we achieve through the longer process. When you see someone who has achieved something without much effort, there is often a shallow perspective and sense of entitlement or of good fortune. When someone has found their place through repeated effort, it shows. There is humility and understanding about the process of life.

So, as we get the opportunity to play the game again and again, new insights or awareness emerge if we are open to being consciously aware. Rather than seeing ourselves as wrong, we see how our perception is growing and bringing us into alignment with the greater possibility of our lives. Again and again we repeat the process...until we get it “right”.