Seasons of the Soul

Turning Irritation Into Gratitude

 

A friend called who is having a challenging time taking care of her sister who had fallen and severely hurt herself. Both of the women are in their 60s, and both have had falls. This time, however, a broken leg was the result, and whereas the sister who was injured was only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom, her sister was taking over all the chores and the full care of her sister, including helping her at night when she had to use the facilities. It was difficult for both of them and called upon all my friend’s energy reserves. She was exhausted and began to feel resentful, and then she had a startling idea. She would see this time of helping her sister as if she was in a Buddhist monastery for two months. She knew that if she were there, she would be up at 3:30 or 4 AM and that there would be requirements that instill patience, compassion, and serenity in the midst of annoyance.

She told me that the most amazing thing happened as a result of the decision. Both she and her sister were better tempered, more loving, and able to laugh, and that she had absolutely no resentment about helping – only gratitude that she COULD. The negative became a positive and ushered in more ideas about how to make the holidays easier and more fun for them both.

The decision my friend made is one that all of us would benefit from. We are always dealing with annoyances in one form or another. Little things become big things when we let them get out of hand, and if we were able to remind ourselves that life is a beautiful opportunity to overcome the irritants, we would be able to look through eyes of love, appreciating all that we are given…including the challenges.

Let’s take a little time each day to be grateful for everything that is presented to us. It’s an opportunity to learn, to help, to have more understanding about another, or to utilize our skills in problem solving or diplomacy. When we do this, our focus shifts from being burdened or put upon to curiosity and willingness to see what’s in front of us through eyes of appreciation. As we see everything that comes into our lives as a gift, our reactions shift, and we look for the silver lining in seeming clouds, and for the pearl of great price beyond the irritation. It’s worth trying because we have nothing to lose, and possibly a world of good to gain!

The Beggar by Stanley Peele

 

It was a cold, wintry day.  I bundled up in a sweater and coat and went out for a walk. The day was quiet and peaceful.  After walking for a few minutes, I saw a man sitting on a bench.    He had a beard and long hair. His coat was worn and flimsy and he had no gloves.

He was sitting still with his back straight, unmoving, with his eyes closed.

“This is strange!” I thought, “He is so still, and, oh, he must be freezing!”

 In front of him was a little bowl.   Propped in front of the bowl was a piece of cardboard with the words, “Alms, please” printed on it.   I walked over to him, pulled out my wallet, got a $5 bill, and reached out toward the bowl. 

“That is not necessary,” he said. 

That startled me. “What are you saying?” I asked.

“It is not necessary for you to give me money,” he replied.  “You can give something that is more needed.” 

This was confusing.  “Er . . . what is that?” I asked.

“If you wish, you can sit on this bench with me,” he replied.

“Well, I need to get back . . . . .”   I stopped in mid-sentence because he was smiling at me.  It was as if he knew that I had plenty of time.

“OK,” I said.  “But just for a minute.” 

He smiled at me.  Then he reached down and took the sign and bowl and put them in a little bag

. 

“Why are you doing that?” I asked.

“Be at peace,” he said, “You do not have to be afraid.  The reason I put the bowl away is

that before you came I was begging.  Now I am talking to you.  I am not begging.”

I didn’t know what to say.  We sat in silence for a minute.

“Do you remember me?” he asked.

“No.”

“My name is Joe,” he stated. (His last name is omitted here.)

 “Oh!” I exclaimed.  “Now I remember you.  You look different.”

“Yes,” he said.    “About 7 years ago, you were the judge who heard my case.  I was charged with drunk and disruptive.  You let me off. When I got out of jail I went back to drinking again – and my wife left me.  So you made a poor decision.”

“Joe, that’s an unusual reaction to getting out of jail,” I said.

“Yes, but listen to what happened next.  I saw you again, about five years ago.  You were the judge.   Again I was charged with drunk and disruptive.  You gave me eleven days in jail.”

“Yes, I remember,” I said.

Then, after a pause he said, “I had it coming.   Not only that, but it was a good decision. It gave me eleven days to get the alcohol out of my body. It gave me 11 days to think.  I began the road to recovery.   I am grateful to you for your decision.  I have been sober for the most part since then.”

He paused for a few moments, and then continued:  “A little over a month ago, I started drinking again, and lost my job.  That’s why I am begging today.  The good news is that I have been alcohol free for nine days.

”

“Joe, I sure wish you well.” I said.

He smiled, and then said, “I do not want any money from you – because you did me a favor when you put me in jail.  Also you have done me a big favor by sitting down and listening to me today.”

We then parted.

_________________________________________________

I hope that I will see him again, because I want to tell him that his story taught me many lessons.

The first lesson is that Joe is a strong and remarkable person.

The second lesson is the re-affirmation that a judge cannot possibly know whether his decisions will have a good effect or not. 

The third, and greatest lesson, is for us to see the spark of light in every person we meet. Everyone. Even those who have treated us with disrespect.

Stanley Peele

May. 17, '16

Earth - A World of Contrast

We live in an environment of duality in order to recognize the variations of a theme. Earth being a school of contrast is neither bad nor good, but rather a learning environment in which we have opportunities to challenge ourselves, our level of understanding, and to refine our character.

We see things that appear to be against life and against the good of all because we are all in different places within our lives....and that term is used advisedly...it is just that. We come to this realm much as the movie Groundhog Day demonstrates. Again and again we get to see the effect of our actions. We get to refine areas of misunderstanding by dealing with issues that call upon us to take another tack...another direction. We are tested periodically in life to see if we are paying attention and to recognize the level of our achievement in recognition of ourselves as part of a unified whole instead of distinct and disenfranchised parts. The illusion of separation fuels acts of alienation or self-protectiveness, when in reality there is nothing to defend and nothing to protect because it is all an arena of contrasting experiences that help us to define who we really are.

If we look at nature as a wise teacher, we see that there are seasons as a natural part of life. Each has distinct markers and lasts for a particular period of time. Just as we have the promise of new life in spring, we have the completion of it in autumn and a time of seeming emptiness in winter. Yet, within each season lay the seeds of contrast that bring about the continuing journey to the next. Nature does not shrink from itself....it expands and retracts and always opts for new life as seasons change, and provides the nourishment that once again activates the urge to life.

When humans separate themselves from the cycles of nature and the interlinking that nature provides in land management, pest control, and species control, they stray further from the great teaching that is at hand right before them. Humans seemingly come into this realm with a veil over their eyes...removing a greater truth that is in plain sight, but is missed because it is so obvious.

We see the need in humans who have lost the connection to unity to create pockets of specialness in order to bolster their sense of entitlement or worthiness. In this separate space, tribalism, religious intolerance, gender bias, and dominion over everything deemed inferior takes place. It is a result of a fear based mentality that believes in scarcity, and that there is something to protect and something to defend when in actuality, the very act of defending and protecting creates separation between oneself and the greater Self of all.

Where does the air stop? Where does the earth stop? It is a circular living being with atmosphere and soil...earth and sky...water and land. Yet, all of earth must work together in harmony for continuity of life and for the health of itself and its inhabitants. All species save for humans work within this system of reciprocal usage and respect. However, humans seem to be a species that was seeded by some alien culture that saw something on the planet to exploit. Even if that is so...that we were the creation of genetic engineers from a different planetary system that sought to find ways of mining this rich planet, it doesn't matter. From a soul perspective, we are here to refine our nature. We are here to become what is held in potential for each of us once we remove the veil and look with respect and appreciation for everything that is provided and all that is given. We don't have to pay for air. It is given freely. Water has also been provided, as has food. These are the absolute necessities for life, and they are given to us without regard to who we are or what we have done. Yet, as exploiters, those who take impose their will on those who don't. And this cycle of taking without replenishing goes on until a time of crisis is reached when the alarm bells go off and human beings are forced to note that doing things the same old way does not work. A day of reckoning is at hand. Hence, Groundhog Day.

Moving up the scale of vibrational frequency, we ascend from fear and survival to gradual interlinking with others who hold our same view, to those who may have different views, to accepting differences, to finding commonality with those who heretofore we have not understand, to opening our invitation to understanding, to include animals, plants, trees, soil, water, all of life as a communal cup. We are all part of this vessel and our interdependence becomes clouded as we stray further from the concept of live and let live.

When we have defiled to the point of accelerated collapse, we see that we cannot do it alone or the way we want that infringes on the rights of others...including our earth. And then, in crisis, a new reality is possible. We shift frequency and move up the scale to the heart where compassion and love bring the mixture of heaven and earth to fruition. It is here in the heart that we can distill and blend our recognition of being heavenly AND earthly bodies. We merge/marry heaven and earth, and our sense of duality recedes as we stop warring against something external and embrace it instead.

When we no longer look at better/worse, good/bad, righteous/sinful, man/woman, gay/straight, and all the other separating images we feed, then there is an unbelievable movement. We drop out of the line mentality and move into the circle within circles that holds hands with one another and all our fellow life forms. Seeing this, we are relieved of the burden of ownership and recognize ourselves as participants in a beautiful exploration that can be filled with joy, delight, humor, laughter, appreciation and gratitude. We feel the richness of giving rather than taking. We observe the effects of compassion and the waves of delight that we bring with our good hearted deeds and dissolving of differences.

This is the holy moment that is possible. And this is what earth is about. It is our arena of contrasts wherein a time will come when we move energetically into the crown of our being, having explored and experimented with all the lower vibrations. As a result, our tone will be full and vibrant, and when we combine our tone with those of all our fellow inhabitants on and throughout the planet, a symphony will emerge that uplifts us all into what we were originally intended - a Holy Family of Love.

Creating Space to Love

 

A little tenderness, a light touch, a kind word...these are part of the stock in hand we can utilize to create a space for love. What does this mean?

If we observe ourselves, we can see how easily our thoughts turn to defense or attack...how often we are in a mode of judgment against someone else and also ourselves. We either direct our inner critic out to condemn the world, or internalize it to defeat ourselves. Yet, through a minor adjustment, we can create a space to love, and here's how.

The moment our minds turn to thoughts of condemnation, we need to bring up an equal opposing thought of commendation. We move the critic out of the way by bringing in the inner cheer leader. This isn't a sappy fairy tale character. It is dynamic and willing to overlook a momentary slight in favor of what is commendable about another or ourselves. We look at the good qualities rather than dwelling on the ones that annoy or drive us to further attack thoughts or actions.

So, when I feel slighted by my partner, rather than jumping immediately to self-protective thoughts, I consider what is going on with him in the moment to make sure my insistence on being right is not borne out of my own sense of inadequacy. The truth is that when we feel whole and complete within ourselves, we are able to forgive others.

Find ways of practicing this concept each day. The more you do it…catching yourself as the judgmental thoughts arise, and bringing in a valid point of validation from the inner cheer leaders, you will find your mind shifting from condemnation to affirmation not only for others, but for yourself. In fact, the more affirming you are in genuine ways of yourself, the more willing your mind is to see the good in other people.  

Try it. You might just be amazed at the results! 

Change

 

Why is it that change is so difficult for many of us? When we think of change, we are either excited or fearful. Change implies movement in our lives. It implies that the way we have viewed life and the considerations of life are now undergoing alteration. It means that we will have to adapt, adjust, and in many cases...grow! And sometimes we don't want to. But life by its very nature gives us a guarantee that change will be part of the process. We cannot always live in summer, because the seasons shift. And with the change of season, we have the opportunity to wear different clothes. As our life brings change, we have the opportunity to develop different attributes.

For some people, the antidote to problems is to change circumstances, change relationships, change jobs. The idea that constant change will bring solutions is the opposite and equally misconceived notion as resisting change. The purpose of change is to introduce new elements that stimulate growth and movement. However, after change we enter a settling period where roots are established in whatever the new state is. Life is a continuation of a multi-part process, whether we resist it or not. In this process change is one portion.

There are many examples of our resistance to change and the opposite. As teenagers, we often cannot wait to be 21. We want to hurry up so we can be "legal." After we have achieved that goal age is a change that many of us would rather forestall or not have to deal with at all. There are changes in our lives when the children grow up and move out. There are life changes such as marriage, birth, divorce, and death.  Life is not static. It is continuously changing.

So how can we open ourselves to receiving the benefit of change? First of all, we need to recognize change as our ally and not our enemy. If we understand change as a signal that we have completed a level of growth and now need to move to the next level, we can be more accepting of it. Sometimes change is the catalyst that finally moves us from an entrenched position in life. It "blasts" us out of our rut. So we ought to be aware of the messengers of change. Are they in the form of opportunity, or do they come in the form of unwelcome guests? If they are the latter, we may want to review our life prior to the "change" and ask what clues were presented to us that we continued to resist. Once change is imminent, we need to determine how we can flow with it rather than resist it. What can we do to prepare more fully to embrace what it offers, and how can we use change to our advantage?

Change is a process we need to befriend. It is a vital part of life, like wind. By working with the changes that occur in our lives, we can overcome a tendency to resist or impede the life force as it moves forward. Whether the changes appear to be fair or not, they are forcing us to expand our awareness and the way we interact with some portion of our life. By embracing change, we open ourselves to exciting possibilities!

Wake Up Boomers!

I put on the blouse that had been adorable when I’d bought it, but now it was baggy and faded. “You’ve lost your cuteness factor!” I said, by way of apology as I took it off and placed it in a pile of clothes to give away. Then I looked up and caught my own reflection in the mirror. “You’ve lost your cuteness factor, too. You were cute when I got you, but now you’re fading.” I realized I couldn’t give me away, though. Had to make peace with the reality of change.

We all come in with a cuteness factor and then as time goes by, we begin to fade just as plants and animals do after full bloom. It’s a hard thing to reconcile, especially for those of us born in the Baby Boom years. We had the world by the tail and our slogan was “Don’t trust anybody over 30!” HA! The chickens came home to roost as we left 30 a long time ago, and now enter the geezer years – way beyond 30.

For the early Boomers, an identity crisis has been brewing since we hit the magic marker of 30 way back when. Slowly, the noisy voices of idealism got quieter. Those of us who were the Flower Power generation of the 60s became the yuppies of the 70s and then sort of faded away as Reaganomics took over in the 80s and the dot.com revolution exploded in the 90s. We watched as the world changed at a dizzying pace, leaving us a bit perplexed, and held back because we no longer felt relevant. Our children thought our generation was lazy and “me” oriented. They were right to a point about the “me” part – but we weren’t and aren’t lazy. Idealistic, yes. Misguided at times, perhaps. But the generation that defined protests and did a lot to make way for a world of free flowing ideas and human/women’s rights still has a lot to share. We’ve just been quiet. Waiting. Observing. Pondering. Confused. If we’re way over 30, can anything we have to share be relevant or of value?

It’s time Boomers. We are marching into the elder years and have to redefine what that means so that we don’t fade away in obscurity. We’re not made of shallow stuff. We have voices that need to be heard. What have we learned in the intervening years between the time when we were the predominant generation to this point in our lives, and how can we best bring these voices forward to contribute to the knowledge base and wellbeing of our grandchildren’s future? How can we redefine older age so that people are no longer thrown away, forgotten, or trivialized? If anyone will do it – it’s going to be us.

I’m not talking about cheating age. You can only do botox and have so many face and body lifts before gravity overcomes. We don’t have to chase after a youth that we’ve already had, but search the content of our interior world to see what we’ve become. What richness is lurking inside? What has mulched through the years waiting for us to pluck the gifts of living in a way that makes us valuable and validating to life.

It’s time. We need to rise to the occasion and make our presence known. We have to overcome the dilemma and amazement that we’ve actually become elders. We need to shake off the notions that older means dumb and dumber or useless and outworn. We aren’t. My blouse might have lost its cuteness factor, but I haven’t. It’s just a different type of “cute”….perhaps acute! So, I’m calling to us. Let’s wake up and find a collective voice to stir ourselves again – to protest obscurity and being cast offs, or of casting ourselves away. It’s time to wake up and speak up with acuity…..again!

Our Next Act begins!