Negativity (Part 1)

Questions and Answers with the Inner Teacher:

When you see someone perpetually talking everything down, you feel the energy component of it, and it drags you down. What is that all about, and what can be done about it?

Reflect. There is a comfort zone that is familiar to the one reflecting that condition. And it is born of lack. If we go back to original root cause, we can find that as children, these people were not given problem-solving skills. They faced crisis alone without the help from adults who could make large problems understandable, or break them down into component parts which could then be dealt with.

These children began to see the world as overwhelming. They either had to sink under the weight of what was perceived as unmanageable, or put a face on it that would exonerate them from having to do something. So…the hood of victimization enters. “I can’t because I don’t have anyone who can help me.” “I don’t have the money they have. They can do it, but I can’t because I’m sick. The breaks always come to “those” people. I don’t have the contacts.”

This form of defense seeks to assign blame or responsibility outside of self, and in so doing, becomes a form of safety…a safe harbor in which to stay anchored, because the one doing it is afraid to venture forth…may not even know how to venture forth. If they stayed in the harbor without cover of the victim hood, they would feel a failure with no excuse for the failure. As they deflect responsibility, and therefore the necessity to take action, there is a feeling of justification.

The penalty for failure is monumental in the mind of these individuals. And they hold themselves to a strict accounting, as they were most probably faced with hyper-critical parents as a child. Without small victories along the way, a child does not form the willingness to fail, because there is nothing that gives the sweet taste of success to their psyche. Failure is not worth risking, because the penalty is always criticism and more criticism. So…by cloaking oneself as a victim of circumstance, failure is avoided in their mind. However, the greater reality is that without trying, failure is 100% guaranteed.