Seasons of the Soul

Altering Negative Reactions

 

(final installment of 4 part series on Negativity)

Whenever there is a defensive reaction, it means that something has been “hooked”. If there is not a sensitive core issue, another’s criticism will find no hold. So…when we feel defensive in the face of criticism, it is important to ask ourselves, “What am I protecting?” Generally, it is an area where we feel sensitive, self-critical, or guilty.

Example: “Harry, you made a mistake on this report.” Harry bristles. He is unsure of himself. He feels attacked. He reacts in defense of himself, either by blaming someone else for not giving him information he needed, finding something about the person making the statement to point out as a failure, or by denying the error. This act of self-preservation is at a personality level and has caused Harry to miss a valuable opportunity to learn something about himself and to form an alliance of respect with the other individual.

By moving out of personality mode and into the heart, Harry could respond in a much more dynamic way. “Gee…what did I do?” This is not said from a place of self-defeat…it is a statement of curiosity. Then he can observe what is being criticized and react appropriately. “Oh, you are right! I missed that. Thank you so much for pointing it out.” This reaction is a statement in strength. The person who pointed out the error gains new or increased respect for Harry. Harry exhibits maturity in looking at what needs to be done. He can then become proactive and also take the opportunity to ask the other… “Let’s see how I can get this corrected so we have minimal damage. Do you have any ideas?” This engages the other person in becoming part of the solution…sharing responsibility for finding ways to correct a problem.

Now…there is a difference between the way Harry has stated his reaction in accepting responsibility versus either defending himself or responding as a victim. A defeated individual who has a perpetual aura of “poor me” might also say…”Yeah. You’re right. I screwed up again.” The whole demeanor here is one of weakness. It is the opposite coin of the defensive stance. Both are born of guilt, but this reaction also has the element of unworthiness.

For the onlooker, each of these reactions causes a reaction within. The defensive stance causes the onlooker to get mad. The unwillingness of Harry to accept responsibility for his mistake creates frustration and also lack of respect, because Harry does not stand behind his work. The reaction of shame in blame causes the onlooker to feel pity or disgust for Harry. Harry exhibits weakness in his reaction because there is a very poor self-image. When Harry accepts responsibility with a mature response, the transaction between the two is direct, equal, and creates a strong bond of mutual respect. There is no charge, there is no blame. There is no shame. There was merely a mistake, which may have been due to an oversight.

This example demonstrates how our perception of ourselves and others is molded by action/reaction, and why it is so important to reframe our internal monitoring system to clear out unworthy attitudes that keep us imprisoned in defensive or pitiful responses to life.

(Coming Next - The Inner Teacher speaks about Love)

Antidote to Negativity (part 3)

(continuation of article on Negativity)

 

How is this done?

Through the heart. The heart has a mind of its own, and that still, small voice that can be heard when the mind in the head quiets, will direct the personality to ways and means of accessing greatness. This requires that the head bow to the heart. In many renderings of great teachers, saints, and lords, the hand points to the heart…for it is only through the heart that true understanding can be gained. And within the heart is found the seed of compassion. Without compassion, there can be no change, for error and criticism will reign supreme until a loving response is ignited to alter the current of events.

Current is an energetic flow. Negative responses set up a tone that is low in frequency and set up a resonance within the body corresponding to certain chords upon which diseases feed. When we speak of following a higher calling, we refer to a frequency in which dis-ease cannot live. And the opportunity for those who hear and respond to the higher calling, which only comes when the heart and mind are attuned in proper relationship to one another, is to travel on a frequency that harmonizes the body, setting and maintaining a tone that balances equilibrium. This requires daily bread…daily attention…daily focus. This requires willingness to bow to the heart and to listen. One cannot do that when they are running in the world with all ears and eyes focused on messages of the world that trivialize the spirit.

You cannot fill your body and mind with junk and expect to have a result that is anything other than junk. It won’t happen. The law of correspondence works immutably, and quality of what goes in equals quality of performance and quality of results. It is that simple. Junk in, junk out. Quality in, quality out.

But each step requires an attitude of vigilance, because the critical nature is hard to quell. It has been instilled in the impressionable years when the entering soul is wide open to all stimuli in its environment. The receptors are 100% open…learning and taking in everything as gospel. It isn’t until seven years of age that a child begins to form critical thinking and begins to identify the possibility of fraud. Until that time, they are soaking up everything that is being directed towards them as truth.

So, deep subconscious patterns die hard. An individual seeking to change their mind set may even feel that they are being disloyal to something that is a deep bond within them to their family. It is not a rational feeling, but it comes from the level of comfort within the original framework. In other words, when we are making a shift from the old to the new, we have to tear down the old framework. You cannot have a new house unless you are willing to tear down the crumbling shell of the old. It will continuously hamper you. If something has become rotten, it must be replaced. To put new wood next to rotting wood will invite contamination. So the old must be replaced. And understanding this gives an idea of what being born again means.

We cannot go into our new lives taking all the tapes of our old life with us. We have to create a new internal structure and housing that will allow for new messages to permeate our core. We must remove the defenses that keep us from our own greatness, and this requires willingness to become vulnerable.

Vulnerability is one of the greatest strengths, because it disarms the critic. When an enemy attacks us, it is waiting for a counter-attack. When instead we agree with the criticism in principle, and are able to state our recognition of what has been stated without need to counter attack or defend ourselves, we have disarmed all hostility, for there is nothing over which to war. We have also allowed ourselves to be open to receiving information that may help us look at something differently.

(to be continued)

Negativity (Part 2)

(Part 2 from Conversations with the Indwelling Teacher)

The way out of this dilemma is not through the psyche, but through the heart of compassion. Self-compassion needs to be practiced on a daily basis, as well as compassion for others. The two must go hand in hand. You will often find that people who are self-critical are critical of others. Even if the self-criticism is masked or deflected, internally there is a constant bombardment of self-judgment, and with this tyrannical mind set as the score keeper, the individual is hampered from moving ahead because there is a weak inner cheerleader.

So…if these people can find others who will act as mentors, encouragers, and sounding boards without criticizing, there may be an ability to move into another frame. However, the problem is that most of these people have developed such a strong interior focus of attracting the negative, that even if others tell them repeatedly how good they are or how good their efforts are, they will invariably focus on anything that comes in as criticism, blow those statements out of proportion, and “forget” the good that was said.

People who suffer from this pattern of self-defeat need first to become aware of what they are doing. If they are willing to ask for a partner to give a signal every time they engage in a negating statement, they will be surprised at how often they forestall their own good, and with willingness, can begin to shift their reality. However, the big hurdle here is willingness to hear criticism in the form of a reminder that they are reacting negatively.

If the personality is not willing to allow for change in the mental constructs they have formed, there is little that can be done on the part of those witnessing the negative process. This is why the troubled soul needs to find ways to move internally to God. And because they do not trust their internal process, they may have to find God somewhere outside where He/She/It can be trusted. Yet, in doing so, the personality will find little comfort from churches where pastors/priests/rabbis/ministers are human, because they will look for the frailty that negates the message.

As Buddha said, “do not attach yourself to my personality – pay attention to my message and test it within yourself.” The path to liberation is not idol worship. That is again giving one’s power to something external to self, because the personality does not believe that everything required for salvation is housed within. And the truth is that personality does NOT have the underpinnings to uphold a greater vision on its own. It is only through the inheritance of the soul that personality can access the riches held within.

(to be continued in Negativity Part 3)

Negativity (Part 1)

Questions and Answers with the Inner Teacher:

When you see someone perpetually talking everything down, you feel the energy component of it, and it drags you down. What is that all about, and what can be done about it?

Reflect. There is a comfort zone that is familiar to the one reflecting that condition. And it is born of lack. If we go back to original root cause, we can find that as children, these people were not given problem-solving skills. They faced crisis alone without the help from adults who could make large problems understandable, or break them down into component parts which could then be dealt with.

These children began to see the world as overwhelming. They either had to sink under the weight of what was perceived as unmanageable, or put a face on it that would exonerate them from having to do something. So…the hood of victimization enters. “I can’t because I don’t have anyone who can help me.” “I don’t have the money they have. They can do it, but I can’t because I’m sick. The breaks always come to “those” people. I don’t have the contacts.”

This form of defense seeks to assign blame or responsibility outside of self, and in so doing, becomes a form of safety…a safe harbor in which to stay anchored, because the one doing it is afraid to venture forth…may not even know how to venture forth. If they stayed in the harbor without cover of the victim hood, they would feel a failure with no excuse for the failure. As they deflect responsibility, and therefore the necessity to take action, there is a feeling of justification.

The penalty for failure is monumental in the mind of these individuals. And they hold themselves to a strict accounting, as they were most probably faced with hyper-critical parents as a child. Without small victories along the way, a child does not form the willingness to fail, because there is nothing that gives the sweet taste of success to their psyche. Failure is not worth risking, because the penalty is always criticism and more criticism. So…by cloaking oneself as a victim of circumstance, failure is avoided in their mind. However, the greater reality is that without trying, failure is 100% guaranteed.

Change the Channel, Change Your Life

Are you as disgusted with the negativity being hurled at us every evening on the news and in the programs parading as entertainment as I am? If so, it’s time for us to make changes in what we are viewing so that we move out of fear based programming into a positive view of the many GOOD things that are happening, but are under-reported. After all, sensationalism panders to our basest instincts, and fear sells. Good news brings a sense of peace and calm…a restoration in faith that there is hope within the world. Yet, that doesn’t sell the drugs, guns, security systems, and all the other modes of self-protection devices that dire warnings do.

As you observe advertising on TV, you note how much we are bombarded by messages of needing this or that drug in order to control health issues. We are told the dire warnings for each by a melodious narrator as pictures of joy and happiness are paraded before our eyes. This is subliminal marketing at its most extreme, and it is interesting to note that only the United States and New Zealand allow drugs to be advertised on television to the public. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

I note that every time I turn on my computer and go to my home page, I’m bombarded by negative news through images that follow in short succession. I can’t turn off the screen shot fast enough, and keep noting that I should change my server…but I’m used to my service and have noted that all the other ones have the same exploitive news.

At any rate, as we find ourselves caught between a rock and a hard place based on the strategy of media conglomerates and advertisers, we DO have a choice. If we want to live meaningful and productive lives that are free of the latest killing, bombing, and other unsavory information, it’s up to us to change the channel and FIND the good news that is available, but not advertised. Here are a few selections to give you other views that are much more uplifting. Start watching the good news and see how it makes a subtle and not so subtle difference in your outlook on life!

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/

http://www.dailygood.org

http://www.godvine.com/

You can also google “good news” or “inspirational stories” and do the same on youtube.com The good stuff IS out there, we just have to dig a little deeper to find it!

There Is A River

 

 

 

There is a River,

The Streams of Which

Shall Make Glad

The City of God.

 

There is a River flowing constantly from God. 

 It is eternal.  It flows to each of us.

 

We can see this River if we first are aware

Of the part of that River that is within ourselves.

 When we become aware of our own strength,

Then that River flows both into us and out of us.

 

We can become aware of this River

When we fall in love, hear beautiful music,

Talk joyfully with friends, enjoy the beauty of nature,

Hear children laughing,

And a thousand other ways.

 

    It is a River of healing, strength, help, solace and love. 

 

It manifests as a sphere of light surrounding the body. 

 God is in the midst of us. 

 That is, there is real power within ourselves. 

 We spend our lives seeking power from others:

 From preachers, from gifted friends.

  That is fine; but it is futile unless we recognize

That the real power comes from within, not from others.

 

May you become aware of this River of Life.

 

There is nothing here that you did not already know. 

  On a deep level,you received it, acknowledged it,

And re-affirmed

The full strength, protection and healing power

That is already within you.

 

Stanley Peele

2006

Introspection is Out, Outrospection is In!

This is a fantastic presentation in cartoon format regarding the need to develop empathy now more than ever. It is full of wisdom and examples of how empathy has changed the world. So worth watching!!

http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=4970

The Universal Symbols - Circle and the Cross

Renowned psychotherapist, Carl Jung, noted towards the end of his life when reviewing thousands of cases he had overseen that a particular theme recurred before healing. Prior to the onset of healing, a high percentage of permanent cures seemed to share the same fundamental dream-image. This image was the universal symbol of the Circle with a Cross inlaid.

Whether it was seen as a design, a circle of friends, or flowers arranged in that pattern, the same archetypal image was evident. It was always associated with re-balance of mental and physical health, and preceded the wholeness that was to come.

One physician whose wife suffered from deep psychosis read of this finding by Jung and decided to try a wild experiment. He cut a large Circle-Cross about four feet in diameter out of plywood, painted it with shining metallic paint and set it in a shaded room with a spotlight on it. He asked his wife to sit comfortably and contemplate the symbol from time to time throughout the day. Within the course of a few months, she was completely cured.

This universal symbol holds properties that appear to return us to our spiritual center and repairs the fabric of our torn or wounded psyche.

Soul in Winter

First of all, we look at the meaning of Soul. In Webster’s Dictionary, Soul is referred to as “the principle of life, feeling, thought and action in humans, regarded as a distinct entity separate from the body; the spiritual part of humans as distinct from the physical.”

The soul, tied closely to the essence of life, which is housed in nature, responds to seasons as does the rest of life. Winter, then, becomes a time of reflection and immersion in Self…the inward part of one’s being rather than the outer, extroverted Self who emerges in spring to bring forth the bloom of its content.

Winter provides an opportunity for internal reflection and assessment. As we look at the external landscape, we view what appears to be non-activity. Leaves have fallen. Trees are bare. Visible growth is minimal. In cold climates, the earth is covered by snow, and the weather is often formidable, bidding us to go within rather than venturing forth.

For those who live with the evidence of four seasons, the focus is more specific than for those of us living in climates that have little variation. It is often harder in these areas to look for outer guidelines to direct our seasonal focus, but it is equally important that we take the time offered as it is intended so that we not delude ourselves into thinking that the internal life moves without cycles.

The metaphor of winter is partially distillation and reconciliation. What have we gathered from the results of our journey through spring, summer and fall? What can we complete, and what is appropriate to leave behind? In this time reflection is a very powerful tool. It not only enables us to put things into perspective, but to prepare the soil for our renewal in spring.

When we are intent on outer activity in the winter months we often fall prey to colds or flu. This isn’t surprising given the intention of winter. When we disregard signals that life proposes, we are vulnerable to dis-ease brought on by activity that goes against our basic nature. Soul does not care that we have jobs to attend and needs to be met in order to make a living. Its focus and purpose is to bring about the necessary adjustment for inward poise and balance. Soul craves recognition of its needs in a time when many of us have forgotten who we really are and what this journey is truly about.

Part of our discontent lies in the stark reality that we have lost connection to the myths of life that propose a journey of meaning. It is the great task at the beginning of the 21st Century to once again find our place in the stream of greater consciousness, to attune to meaning and pay attention to the rhythm of the seasons, of which we are integral parts. We are not here to overcome nature, but to embrace her and work with her, making of our life an art.