Last spring I began a process of unfolding certain areas within myself that had been left undone. In my case, as I looked at my interior landscape from a mythical sense, there were no males. I had a woman, a mother, a child, an androgynous Wise One…but no man, no father…and this lack was reflected in my external life. My father died when I was 9, setting a pattern that would unfold throughout my life. I thought that I had outgrown this loss, but through the years the missing element consistently dogged me.
In recognizing the need for a whole family in my interior world, I approached the process of retrieval from a position of mythology that appealed to my reflective nature. For me, the Arthurian myths and that era seem to present a composition that works for me in visualization. Therefore, I sat with music that intoned Celtic lore and began to visualize what my inner landscape ought to look like. Soon I was at my computer creating a cast of characters and asking questions of the female part that was blocking a male aspect from being part of this wholy family. The internal dialogue was very revealing insofar as I could see where the wounds were…what felt betrayed or abandoned…and I was able to effect a reconciliation between the woman part and the father, allowing him to once again take his place in the “kingdom.” I shared this process with many people who asked for copies of it and devised a conceptual framework whereby this could be done by anyone.
Before proceeding, however, there is need to determine what modality works for each individual. For instance, I am very mentally visual. Writing comes easily to me…so this was a natural. I am also drawn to Celtic traditions. My housemate is a dance therapist and has no interest in the Arthurian legends or in writing her process. She is far more at home with Egypt and found missing aspects of herself through movement and dance. As she choreographed her process a scenario emerged related to lost identity in the temples and through this modality she was able to retrieve and heal lost parts of herself.
The difference in our individual natures requires approaches that “speak” to who we are. Are we verbal, audial, visual, tactile? Are we moved to insight through music, art, guided imagery, sounding, drumming, movement, prayer or meditation? Is our process written, spoken, sung, played, acted, painted or danced? The questions lead to more questions and the importance is in finding that method which is most appropriate to who we are for reconciliation of our interior landscape. Whether we are drawn to a story focus or see ourselves as a collection of neurons…it makes little difference. The end result is a quest for unity
As I see the process, these are the following guidelines:
- Awareness that something is missing within.
- Willingness to present questions to the internal role players that lead to insight.
- Working in the modality that is appropriate to ourselves to reclaim lost aspects of our nature.
- Willingness to be “outrageous” in the process. The way we express may not be “pretty” or socially appropriate. We have to be willing to tell it like it is to ourselves, because that’s who it’s for. We’re not trying to win a popularity contest here!
- Integration of the “found” parts within the system. Letting the lost aspects become integral parts of our lives.
- Checking in periodically. This is not a one-time done deal. The interior landscape changes with circumstances, and it is important to keep up with what’s happening. We are more like soap operas than any of us would care to admit!
Reclaiming ourselves is a worthy effort. As a statement made long ago sums it up, "we are all little princes and princesses who have come into a world where events and others have tried to make us frogs." Our task is to reclaim who we really are, and the process is a noble part of the hero's journey!
From Seasons of the Soul print edition, Spring 1996