All of us have areas in our lives where we are more vulnerable than others. One person has no issue with money, another worries constantly that they might not have enough. One person sees no issue with relationships, and another is forever feeling left out of the “happily ever after” scenario. Same with health and a myriad of other complex issues that invade our peace of mind with a continual reminder that things might not go well for us.
We don’t necessarily get to choose where our fears about not having come from, but we do have the ability to shift our reaction through consciously choosing a different response.
Years ago, I moved to a house where my significant other and I were going to live, and after a short period of time, he was diagnosed with a life threatening illness that caused him to be unemployed. During that time, my mother became very ill, and I was at her residence to help her when I spotted a window that seemed very heavy and I was afraid she might fall out if she tried to raise it. I saw what I thought were window stops and pulled the window up to lock it into position. However, what I had seen was actually a window release, and the heavy window frame came crashing down on my head, just missing my eye. It turned out that it caused a concussion, and because of that I was unable to work for a time. Without an income, I was concerned as to how we were going to pay bills and buy food. I had some savings, but did not want to use it unless absolutely necessary. I sat in my backyard and had a frank talk with God. “You have put these things in front of me, and I need your help financially in order to make it through. If you want us to eat beans, so be it, but I am not going to use the safety net in savings for this. It’s up to you what we will do.” I said this with full sincerity and no judgment. I was making a statement of fact and wasn’t doing this in a way that would be guilt inducting, but rather explaining what I was willing and unwilling to do about the situation. I then let it go, and went about my routine.
A wonderful friend we had met the year before who was a psychic from England came to visit the States to do readings, and he called to invite me to where he was staying for a visit. I told him I would bring lunch, and remember that I used the last of my cash on hand to buy the sandwiches. I recall thinking that this was the end of my funds, and let it go. My desire was to give something tasty to my friends with no intention of mentioning the financial situation. When I arrived and we were in the midst of our visit, my friend said that he had a strong feeling that I could use some financial infusion, and before I could answer, he said he had just sold a house and wanted to give me $3,000. He said he couldn’t give it to me until he went back to England, but had $300 in cash and wondered if that might be helpful. I was of course flabbergasted. I thanked him profusely and probably cried a little (this was many years ago), but the timing and the grace of that event was a major reminder that there is no order of difficulty for miracles. It is we who get in the way, and it is our task to overcome the fear of not having and simply state our needs, believing that our request will be answered in the most appropriate way.
I was told years before by my guidance that prayers not asked cannot be answered. I was also reminded once by guidance, “why should provisions be given before they are needed, save for the sake of the ego?” That was a show stopper, because it was true.
In relation to the story I related about the gift from my English friend (which I paid back in full at a later time when I had more money), there was a later incident during the same time period. My mother was in the hospital and my sweetheart was doing everything possible to overcome the cancer he had been diagnosed with. He still was unable to work, and I was spending my days going to my mother’s bedside as the prognosis for her wasn’t good. Once again, I was in the same financial state as I had been when I put out the prayer for help. I told God again of my needs and let it go. I had no idea where or how something would arrive, or even if….but I had faith that what was needed would be provided.
My aunt and uncle came to visit my mother in the hospital. It was apparent that she wasn’t going to be with us that much longer. Her stay in the hospital from onset of illness to her death was 7 months. She did not receive a conclusive diagnosis until very near the end, and by that time, it was too late to save her.
When my aunt arrived, she told me that she had concern that I could use some financial help. She told me that she had made a provision for me in her will, but that she felt it would be better to give it to me then. She gave me a check for several thousand dollars, and once again I was flabbergasted and deeply grateful. I was being looked after. There were provisions.
I have noted that where I do have issues, the ability to let go of my request for help is much more difficult. I tend to wonder if help will come, and that of course constricts the potential of my request. It was explained to me years ago that we have to look at prayers as seeds. If we plant a seed and continually dig it up to see if it is growing, we will thwart its growth. Same with prayer. If we pray for something, we have to let it germinate and do what it needs to do, trusting all along that a result will occur.