Sometimes we are given clues that it is time to make course corrections in life. At first, the messages are gentle, and if we are paying attention, we take necessary action in the moment. At other times, if we are so involved with exterior existence that we don’t see what is being asked of us, the reminders may become more abrupt.
Earlier in the year the lid of my car trunk crashed down on my head when a gust of wind blew it as I was getting something out of the trunk. I thought it was a timely reminder not to be so locked in thought, and then two months later, I twisted my ankle and hobbled around on crutches for a few days. Still, I wasn’t getting the implication of the message. Finally, at the end of March, I experienced a freak fall in my garden that flipped me backwards from a raised flowerbed, over a concrete walkway, into bushes below – grazing my head on a wheelbarrow, twisting my body oddly, and breaking my arm. It was my right arm, and I am right handed. I could not write or drive for two months, and had to spend time being semi-helpless. I had to ask for help from others, relied on friends to drive me to doctor appointments, and required the assistance of my daughters to take care of my great-aunt, who I help once a week. My entire routine was disrupted, and through it all, I had to look for a deeper meaning to these freaky accidents that came in a cluster.
The aftermath of the fall has not been pleasant, as there was more damage done to my body than a broken arm, and in the process of having different modes of physical therapy, I went to one of my good friends who does cranial sacral work. She acknowledged that this was going to take time, but we could put “Humpty Dumpty” back together again. However, she mentioned that her husband had commented that he believed the reason I broke my arm was because I wasn’t paying attention to my “calling”…that although I’m a good writer, he felt I was an even more compelling speaker, and that I’d chosen to stay safe and hide in my hillside home, staying behind the scenes.
That comment resonated deeply with me, because it was true. I do not like to travel. I don’t like hassles. Even though I enjoy speaking to groups once I’m there, it is an irritant to my comfort zone, and so I’ve chosen what is “acceptable” to me. Yet, that’s not what life asks of us. Our comfort zone is constantly tested and prodded as we grow and change. It’s comfortable to be a little kid, but then puberty comes. It’s great to be a vital adult, and then we are faced with old age. All of these stages have trials and opportunities present. Each has a gift held within, waiting for us to bring out our talents and abilities in different ways at different times. We have free choice to a point, because if we do not stretch our wings and utilize what we’re given, life becomes stale, and we wither from the lack of meaningful participation.
When I recognized the truth of my friend’s comment, I acknowledged my withholding, and I promised God on the way home that I would be open to speaking engagements. That night, I had a meditation group meeting at my home, and I mentioned this insight. Immediately one of the participants, a director of a foundation, asked me what kind of speaking I was to do, and I said I wasn’t sure. He said he had a grant for a part time person to go out and speak to senior groups about Emergency Preparedness. Another member of the group who is a minister asked if I would facilitate a service later in the month as she will be out of town. As the evening came to a close, I had to laugh. What transpired had been evidence of how quickly Spirit works when we open ourselves to the “work” that we are intended to do.
The moral of this story is that each of us has need to look at where we are operating from our comfort zone only, and where we need to open ourselves to more of life that will stretch us and utilize the special gifts we’ve been given in whatever way our Creator has envisioned for us. When we are on the right track, doors open. When we are not, we may stumble, get a whack on the head, or break an arm. I’m still writing, but I’ve said “yes” to an additional opportunity. It’s a new phase and stage in my life, and amazing how good it feels to say “yes” instead of “no” to possibilities!
From Seasons of the Soul 2007 print edition