It isn't good to know too much. It is deflating to the idealist in us who seeks to do good and believes that good will prevail. Yet, after years of observation - and indeed with the reality of life - everything takes much longer to change and often reverts again and again to the lowest common denominator - and in truth, everything dies.
Our good deeds appear to die, our noble inquiries fill us for the moment and help us move through the seeming travesty of life - we make a heady contribution, and then we watch the purveyors of whatever pull it apart or twist it to their own intention. Yet, in spite of it all, we proceed.
I think it boils down to doing what we do because it is innate and instinctive and that is what we do - not because of any outcome. Outcomes dissolve. There is always a new scheme, a new disease - and this seems to be the way of Earth. Impermanence, impermanence, impermanence. So the Buddhists say. Don't be disappointed in the truth. Don't be swayed by events. Just be the presence you want to be.
I have a great-aunt who is 98 3/4 - she points that out very proudly (the 3/4 part), and she has a wonderful attitude of enthusiasm and childlike excitement about things. She looks forward to family gatherings and her one great delight is going to play slot machines once or twice a year. She plays all of $20 in nickels and quarters, but the delight she exudes has the whole family looking forward to these adventures with her.
We are drawn in by her fun loving spirit and thrill at being there. When she is gone, none of us will ever go again. It wouldn't be the same. We'd bring our ho hum minds with us. But for that brief few hours where we indulge her in the joy of pulling slot machine handles and watch the little symbols jump around until they land in one or another position - we are transported out of our knowing and brought into her childlike sense of joy and wonder. And for a few hours the world is gentle, kind and simple. There is something completely innocent and fun about the way she views life.
We hope my great aunt will be with us in this exuberant form for more years. She is our antidote to too much news, too much greed, too much power, too little grace.
It isn't good to know too much. It jades us. Truth is, we will all pass out of this "illusion" into another form or space, and all we will have (perhaps) is the soul qualities we've gathered and expressed while here.
There may be no other grand assignments, but we certainly can take this vital energy that is still ours and put it into things that bring meaning and comfort to us now - and perhaps inspire others in the process. Once I realize I'm not necessarily going to change the world, I don't have such a burden of assignment. However, I can choose which lens to use in viewing life and pick the one that unifies me.
From Seasons of the Soul 2005
