Seasons of the Soul

Success From Failure

I am often asked for advice, and have saved some of the questions and answers from my files that might be helpful to others. This particular response is to an e-mail from a friend who moved to Turkey to begin a business. Her mother was a businesswoman, but felt that her business was a failure in the long run and is very afraid for her daughter to enter the fray. This was my response to her plea for encouragement.
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We just saw a show last night called The Big Idea about succeeding from failure - and it was all about how many failures successful people have before they finally have the thing that really takes off. It isn't always so, but the consensus was that we have to allow each failure to move us forward....and NOT be afraid to fail. If we have passion and conviction in what we are doing, we can not let the nay sayers turn us away from our goals. One guy told of how every time he came up with something, others would say, "Why are you doing that? If it was going to ever be anything, it would already have been done." And he said THAT statement was what let him know he was on the right track - he just went ahead with his vision and determination and invented things that were successful.

In our journey toward autonomy we are faced with everyone else's fears because they didn't make it happen the way they would have liked it to be - and they are afraid for us to try because they failed or gave up or whatever. One woman said that you have to ask yourself what your objective is. And then look at what your worst fears around it are, and then say, "Okay...if that happens, then what?" and you keep doing that until you see the logical answer is that if you fail you will start something else. It's like baking a cake. If it doesn't turn out, we bake another one!!
Starting a business means you are banking on your energy and believing in it. You are   going to make a statement that you have something to offer that YOU are willing to invest in. If you are willing to invest in yourself then other people will be willing to invest in you. Your statement of being an entrepreneur says that you believe in your product. That makes other people believe there is something to what you have to offer.
So...you can look at the worst case scenario and realize that if that happens and you don’t succeed, you'll still be standing, and you can take the lessons you learned from that and start again in whatever way is more appropriate. BUT that is only worst case scenario. You can also succeed!

I would suggest that you ask your mother what she would have done differently in her business to make the outcome different. What did she learn? What did she do that caused it to fail? What did she learn about herself in the process? Perhaps she found out that she really wasn't cut out to be an entrepreneur, and that's a valuable lesson. But perhaps she was naive about financial matters and would have been more savvy about accounting or the people she chose to work with her. Get her to share what she could or would have done differently that would have allowed for the business to be a success - and maybe it was that she was in the wrong business or one that was too demanding. Turn this negative view into some positive pieces of information that you can build on - not be defeated by.

Best case scenario is that you feel the fear, go ahead with your plans anyway, and you succeed beyond your dreams, bringing joy and abundance to everyone and everything you touch. Now, THAT is something to aspire to!
Remember the old saying,  “Nothing ventured, nothing gained”.
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The report back from my friend was that she did ask her mother about the business she had and what she would have done differently. As a result, her mother began sharing tips for how to succeed where she had failed and promised to support her daughter in the venture.
The lesson here is that when we ask for the advice of elders and encourage them to share their journeys instead of getting defensive when they get negative, we move beyond the fear point and engage them in helping us create something very rich in texture and inclusive of each person’s expertise.

Allowing Our Differences

Facing a blank wall….what do I see in the emptiness as my mind chatters on and on about trivia of the day, expressions of annoyance at the latest diatribe by right wing talk show attack mongrels and left wing pundits. Everything so bound up in either/or, us/them, the mentality of duality that sees anything outside of its own view as evil or wrong. And in life, the extraordinary truth is that this cannot stand. It erupts, disrupts, and causes splintering in the fabric because there is no accommodation for another view or vantage point of a larger truth.

We can each only see a portion of something bigger than ourselves. I am limited by where I stand and what is in front of me. I can turn 360 degrees, but my scope of vision is determined by where I am standing. At the base of the mountain, I see dirt and trees and little else. At the top of the mountain, I have a vaster view, but still I am limited by the nature of my singularity and upon what ground I stand, where I am born, what culture I am from, and the gender I inhabit. It isn’t like being able to zoom out on Google Earth and see the whole planet as a passerby. We see what is here and now as the reality of our time and place. And yet, we do not give credibility to anyone else’s time and place viewpoint.
The woman in Iran or the Balinese fisherman – the Russian ballerina and the Cuban immigrant - they see things from a perspective framed by their experience – and how can it be otherwise? Yet, in each of our diverse backgrounds there is a beautiful tapestry that we can weave. Each of us has a thread to contribute to something more stunning than our single viewpoint. If we would allow for our stories to emerge and our vantage points to be heard, we could possibly create a world in which we are all welcome and where we would all like to live and thrive and share our resources.

Without allowing for the differences that are intrinsic to our lives, we limit creation. Yet, in creation there is no one-way. There is no one form of weather pattern that touches all the planet at the same time. When I see daylight, those halfway around the world see night. Are they right to say that it is night, and I am wrong to say it is day? Does their truth negate mine, and vice versa? Of course not. Yet, we debate endlessly over whose God is the real and only God. We war over cultural customs and gender differences, and all the other isms and opposites that small minds cannot accept or allow because those differences ask each of us to step out of our comfort zone – out of our familiar patterns and life view to recognize something more as being a way of life.

It doesn’t have to be THE way, nor should it. One form of flower covering the entire earth would be monotonous. One species, one gender, one food choice – we would be bored by the repetition of sameness. And when we limit the sharing of beliefs or ways of being, we are boring. We become parrots of what has gone before, biased into submission, and the end result is a world that splinters and withers in potential. All the talent, creativity and possibility is squandered by non-allowance, and each of us is diminished as a result.

It’s time to become one world - time to become fully human – to see the gift in our variance, and to speak with one another, not posture with enmity in mindless rhetoric. We can bridge the gaping holes that divide us by weaving our tapestry one to the other. We can start simply, finding a point upon which we can agree, by sharing the fact that we are human, that we have children, and then showing pictures of our family and discussing our hopes for them and ourselves. We can describe how we came to believe our beliefs and the foods we eat and the customs we have established, and through this we will become aware of another’s point of view. It will not diminish us; it will enrich us. And then, we can allow for our differences and gradually, gradually hold out a candle to one another that we light in friendship and compassion. Then as we eliminate the gaping gulf of unknowing between us, humanity can come together to celebrate life .It all begins with allowing our differences. It’s time. KJ

Wisdom of the Taxi Cab Drivers

The taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by mere inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and started yelling bad words at the driver and his passenger, but the driver of the cab just smiled and waved at the guy. He was actually friendly!

So, the passenger asked him, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and could've sent us to the hospital!"

And this is when the taxi driver told his passenger about "The Law of Garbage Trucks."

"Many people are like Garbage Trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it, and if you let them, they'll dump it on you.  When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. Instead, just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happier because you did."

In another incident, a friend was in Las Vegas and had experienced a near miss at winning $50,000 because a Keno runner did not put her ticket in at the right time. My friend was noticeably upset, but had to hurry to catch a plane.

As she rode in the taxi to the airport, a huge truck pulled directly in front of the cab without looking, and by a miracle, a major accident was avoided through the cabbies swift reaction. After the initial shock,  my friend told the cab driver about the lost $50,000 because of the keno runner’s mistake. He looked in the rear view mirror at her and smiled. “You almost had $50,000, and you just almost lost your life. So the balance sheet is even now as you were saved from a  dire consequence that the money would not have been able to solve.”

Next time you take a cab, engage the driver in conversation and see what pearl of wisdom he/she has to offer!

Forgiveness Is the Cash

Forgiveness Is the cash you need.
All the other kinds of silver really buy                                  
Just strange things.
Everything has its music. 
Everything has genes of God inside.
But learn from those courageous addicted lovers          
Of glands and opium and gold—
Look,                                 
They cannot jump high or laugh long                           
When they are whirling.
And the moon and the stars become sad                     
When their tender light is used for Night wars.
Forgiveness is part of the treasure you need                
To craft your falcon wings And return
To your true realm of Divine Freedom

From The Subject Tonight Is Love, 60 Wild and Sweet Poems of Hafiz                                               versions by Daniel Ladimsky

Chasing Windmills

How often do we run after those things that seem elusive, believing that once we catch or grasp them we will be content forever? Yet, once found, and after the initial rush the desire brings, we are once again looking for the next “it” that will satisfy our momentary wants. Life is like that. We take our days as an adventure when we’re young and beginning the journey, and then as experience becomes expectation, we assume certain things will always remain the same while others should magically alter to meet our sense of what ought to be. It’s as though we are chasing windmills—wanting ever-present stimulation. Yet there is a lot of  still time in between the bursts of wind or the next “Aha” experience.. There is the prospect of doing life on a daily basis that isn’t always glamorous or fulfilling...a lot of  ordinariness and rote requirements. And there is nothing wrong with this as long as we recognize the importance of the process. 

Windmills are useful. They fuel activity, and when harnessed, can propel us in grand ways toward the next adventure. Chasing windmills, however, negates a whole part of our lives that is also important—the in between time when we can distill what we’ve experienced and let it settle into us. It’s the old need for balance between doing and being—and some of us are more adept at this than others. Yet when we recognize the benefit of what the windmill brings (or our creative process) we can then utilize that “wind” to propel our project forward and take the down time that follows to let the fruit of our labor distill and deepen our understanding.

The wind will come again—it always does. But we don’t have to chase it, for it will arrive right on time as we need it and are ready for the next “Aha” moment.   

From Seasons of the Soul Summer print edition 2008

Project 10 to the 100th

Have you seen this? It's a brilliant idea from Google.

Project 10100 (pronounced "Project 10 to the 100th") is a call for ideas to change the world by helping as many people as possible.  We're committing $10 million to implement these projects, and our goal is to help as many people as possible. So remember, money may provide a jumpstart, but the idea is the thing.

http://www.project10tothe100.com/faq.html

The deadline is October 20th, 2008

Guidelines
Our goal is to set as few rules as possible. However, we ask that you put your idea into one of the following categories and consider the evaluation criteria below.

Categories:
Community: How can we help connect people, build communities and protect unique cultures?
Opportunity: How can we help people better provide for themselves and their families?
Energy: How can we help move the world toward safe, clean, inexpensive energy?
Environment: How can we help promote a cleaner and more sustainable global ecosystem?
Health: How can we help individuals lead longer, healthier lives?
Education: How can we help more people get more access to better education?
Shelter: How can we help ensure that everyone has a safe place to live?
Everything else: Sometimes the best ideas don't fit into any category at all.

The Tao of Balance

This story of the Chinese rain-maker that Carl Jung told repeatedly, and which he felt critical for the West to understand was told to him by Richard Wilhelm, the German sinologist and translator of the I Ching who lived in China for many years.

"There was a great drought where Wilhem lived [Kiao-chau]; for months there had not been a drop of rain and the situation became catastrophic. 

The Catholics made processions, the Protestants made prayers, and the Chinese burned joss-sticks and shot off guns to frighten away the demons of the drought, but with no result.

Finally the Chinese said, 'We will fetch the rain-maker.'  And from another province a dried-up old man appeared.  The only thing he asked for was a quiet little house somewhere, and there he locked himself in for three days.  On the fourth day the clouds gathered and there was a great snow-storm at the time of the year when no snow was expected, an unusual amount, and the town was so full of rumours about the wonderful rain-maker that Wilhelm went to ask the man how he did it.

In true European fashion he said: 'They call you the rain-maker, will you tell me how you made the snow?'

And the little Chinese man said:  'I did not make the snow, I am not responsible.'

'But what have you done these three days?'

'Oh, I can explain that.  I come from another country where things are in order.  Here they are out of order, they are not as they should be by the ordinance of heaven.  Therefore the whole country is not in Tao, and I also am not in the natural order of things because I am in a disordered country.  So I had to wait three days until I was back in Tao and then naturally the rain came.'"

The Learners Inherit the Earth

Bob Proctor is a noted motivational speaker and teacher. I love his work, and subscribe to his Daily Insight. This is today's version:

"In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists."Eric Hoffer

Contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as an educated person. You are either learning or you are not. In today's world, it is vitally important that you see the truth in Eric Hoffer's statement. The win or loss, which is waiting in the wings for every person, is enormous. You get to choose which you will experience. Examine what Mr. Hoffer said. There are two obvious parts to his statement. The first part is very clear; how well it is understood is another subject.

"The learners will inherit the earth."

That's pretty straightforward. I want to come back and elaborate on that statement because it is exciting, full of promise and possibility. However it would probably be wise to look at the second part of his advice first. Then, if you happen to fall into the category Eric Hoffer referred to, you can change your situation and win.

"The learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists."

In virtually every country of the world you can find individuals, thousands of them, walking the streets with degrees in their hands...degrees from prestigious universities. They cannot find work. Why? These individuals view the conditions and circumstances that surround them as very frightening. They are the people who Eric Hoffer referred to who "are beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists."

Look around, the world is definitely changing, and it will never be the same again. Power is slipping away, disappearing from some circles, and reappearing in others. Countries, companies and individuals who have held the power in the past are quickly losing it, if in fact, they have not already watched it melt in their hands. Their often smug, sometimes selfish, domineering, complacent attitude has cost them dearly. They are confused and this confusion is frequently fueled by their own ignorance.

When that happens it ultimately leads to anger or resentment - sometimes both. This negative energy is then quite frequently misdirected, possibly at their loved ones, which then causes an entirely new set of problems.

These people are clutched by an unseen enemy and their frustration is endless because they are not sure what has happened or what is happening. Their world seems to be turning upside down.

The entire world is in the midst of a paradigm shift, which is unprecedented. There have been transitions in the past but nothing to equal what we are presently experiencing.

The world is moving from an intellectual to a spiritual vibration. The rules for winning have changed dramatically and the majority of the populations are still living with the old rules.

There are an enormous number of people in every community who have worked hard and disciplined themselves to follow the only rules they know...still they are losing. They are bewildered, confused and in many cases, angry and most feel their anger is justified, whether it is or not matters little. They are doing what they were taught by their parents, teachers, and employers. Unfortunately they too, were working with the old rules.In the past, individuals were recognized and rewarded for what they knew.
Corporations waited on the sidelines dangling monetary rewards attempting to attract the graduates from the big name universities of the world. There were the multi-million dollar MBA management development programs that corporations placed their hope in for years. Most everyone was conditioned to deify the intellect. Individuals were not properly recognized and rewarded for what they did.

Rather than focusing on what is or was wrong, we should let it go. Let the dead bury the dead. The world I grew up in is gone, forever. The world has changed. We live in the new era. This is a spiritual world governed by exact laws. Everyone who studies these laws and incorporates them into every aspect of their life will be richly rewarded.

I believe we would be wise to go back to the promise Eric Hoffer shared,

"In times of change, the learners inherit the earth."

The learners are continually preparing themselves to adapt to the changes. Rather than reacting they are responding to these changes and they are responding in an appropriate manner. The learners are excited with the prospects of what this paradigm shift is bringing.

Bob Proctor

insights@insightoftheday.com

The Mindset of a Creative Genius

I received this today, and thought you might enjoy it also:

Your Creative Genius Mindset: The Essential Qualities for "Outside the Box" Thinking - Stepcase Lifehack
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/your-creative-genius-mindset-the-essential-qualities-for-outside-the-box-thinking.html

For All You Reluctant Fathers - Watch This!

Oh, my....love has no greater sacrifice than a father for his son:

  KarmaTube: Father & Son Heroes: Dick and Rick Hoyt