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March 10, 2008

Conformity and Authenticity

I was walking with a friend in the hills one Spring morning, and all around us the wild flowers were in exquisite and full bloom, unlike anything I'd seen before. The amount of rain we had during that winter transformed us into a southern version of the northwest, and the wildflowers were absolutely breathtaking.

While viewing them, I saw row upon row of a yellow variety of daffodils. They created a carpet of color that was quite attractive. And in the midst of all this yellow, one plant with several magnificent deep pink/red flowers shot up between them, its individuality quite remarkable. It was such a reminder to me that in the field of life, conformity may be appropriate in many ways, but it is also good to be that authentic flower that bears its own colors amidst a field of sameness. There is a place for conformity, but ah…the beauty in differentiation! Diversity. Contrast. Uniqueness.

There was room in that field for many more flowers of different colors. They would have only added to its splendor!
From Seasons of the Soul 1997

March 09, 2008

Birds of a Feather

This Spring , when you see geese heading home after the winter…flying along in V formation…you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way.

As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in V formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

When a goose falls out of formation it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone…and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.

When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing, and another goose flies point. Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep their speed.

Finally…(and this is important), when a goose gets sick, or is wounded by gunshots, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or it dies, and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.

We can learn a lot from geese!
From Seasons of the Soul 1997

March 07, 2008

Portrayal of Truth

How many times have we known something that we have not said to another because we haven’t known how or we didn’t want to hurt their feelings? How many times do we get caught in self-defeating patterns that attack another out of frustration? Both of these reactions are extremes, and do not serve truth. Within relationships, we need to put ourselves in the shoes of another and consider how we would want to be told something by another. We then consider what needs to be addressed and find the way to bring that truth forward. If we don’t know the right way, we can ask for help through prayer  – for the right words, and for the courage to overcome our own hesitance to speak up.

There is an art to truth and there is need to learn how to refine our methods of expression, requiring willingness to be present and conscious at all times. Denying what we know is diminishing truth. It not only diminishes the other and ourselves, it diminishes God, who reflects through us. When we become conscious in the moment of what is around us, we can feel when something is out of step – and if we address the issue or concern right then, it brings clarity to light and opens a way for greater dialogue. However, if in the moment our reaction is anger, we need to pause so that we take time to process and consider why we are angry, and find a way to express without attacking. As each of us moves into this conscious expression, we are able to come closer to one another, and we are able to overcome issues and differences because we don’t let them build through time from molehills into mountains.

Each of us is unique, and yet we are similar. We live with paradox, and part of the process is finding our way through the maze of contradiction to come to the central space where there is no differentiation. When we are able to apprehend the larger design of which we are a part, we can find our unique strand that fulfills the pattern of the tapestry. The purpose in this time is moving away from isolation and separation to find our authenticity and interconnectedness to all of life. From this space we are able to move within a sacred context and it is there that we find and portray the Beloved.
From Seasons of the Soul 1998

March 05, 2008

Menopause and Renewal

Recently, because of my age, I have been privy to numbers of friends who are going through the “change” of life. Since our culture greets this rite of passage with the same enthusiasm it accorded the Plague, we women are naturally horror struck as this perfectly natural ending to our birthing cycle occurs. We are one of the few cultures on earth that endures as much physical and emotional pain around this event and so in researching alternative possibilities to life being “over” as a result of our age and the M word, I’ve found some interesting information.

If we lapse back to early centuries when the Goddess cultures were predominant, we would find the Menopause a time of passage into the great cycle of wisdom in which biological creativity was now completed and creative wisdom was fully emerging. It was a time when the full bloom of woman’s powers came into being. She had completed her responsibility to the procreation of the species, was no longer bound to the menses of each passing full moon, and now was in position to move more fully into her deep intuitive nature. Without the disruption of hormones, her clarity was unequaled.
Menopause is the third and most powerful stage that woman can enter ritualistically related to her body, the first being menstruation and the second childbearing. It is also intended as the crowning point of her life, not its end.

As patriarchal societies claimed world dominance, they subverted woman’s power to the process of biological birthing only. Woman’s worth was tied to the inheritance she brought to a marriage and her ability to procreate. The great wise Crone was reduced to a hag; depicted as evil, despicable and revolting. The picture that we have inherited comes from this legacy rather than the pre-patriarchal days, and part of woman’s great fear is losing her youth, her looks, her sexuality, desirability, and her value.

The power of that early PR campaign was to disempower a whole segment of society, which it did quite successfully. Now, as aging baby boomers have elevated the neurosis of menopause to new heights, we need to retrieve our heritage as women who are moving into the elder years…to the circle of wisdom.  It is up to us to invite wisdom through our choices. If our vanity is tied to the physical body, we are bound to be disappointed, because as of yet, there is no cure for death. However, as we resist the notion that we are used up and finished, we are able to look at life through a different lens…one not filtered by our need to fit an outworn image. 

To say that this rite of passage is without physical change, discomfort and in some cases health risks is naïve, but as Christiane Northrup, M.D. has stated in one of her newsletters on women’s health, “modern medicine treats menopause like a sickness, not a natural life passage. They view it as a ‘disease’ that women cannot escape.” She further states that “we are being sold a bill of goods. Huge amounts of money are being made by hormone companies that frighten women into thinking that menopause requires a doctor’s treatment. And many of those treatments - hormone replacement therapy, frequent mammography and cervical screening - are based on dubious research. Doctors have never studied a group of non-symptomatic, healthy menopausal women… The so-called menopausal syndrome is a mishmash of fact, fallacy, and prejudice. Instead of women feeling confident and positive about menopause, we are being persuaded to feel anxious, fragile and prey to a host of unpleasant diseases.” She, as physician Sadja Greenwood, feel that the menopause is a time when a woman’s power, wisdom and creativity push to the surface, calling for our attention.  I have been told by women on the other side of this that there is a sense of freedom that is unmatched in any other part of  their lives.

If we women have nurtured our interior life during our earlier years, we have nothing to fear as we enter this rite of passage. There is richness in the elder years, when we are no longer bound by some of the concerns we faced earlier. As one of my friends who has passed the menopause threshold told me… “I have a knowledge and acceptance of myself as never before. It is great to be through with all of that…and also great to be over 50.!”

Beyond these practical views, there is a spiritual component to this process. Modern woman is often disconnected from her heritage as sacred guardian of earth and wisdom. Because of the ensuing centuries where potency of the feminine has been subjugated to the dominance of Brute Force…as has earth…we have neglected our spiritual heritage. When woman remembers her true nature, she has no need to fear the powerful time of life that menopause represents. There is no time in life when woman or earth, regardless of age, is not of high value. It is our perception of ourselves that values or devalues us, and to accept an external idea of who we are and what we can be based on our age, our condition, or anything other than our own knowledge, is banal. 

Rather than buy the myths about aging, let’s embrace the long ago goddess culture’s attitude that this is one of the greatest season’s of our lives…an opportunity for renewal into a richer, fuller aspect of our being. And rather than point fingers in blame at anyone else, let’s evolve who and what we are to a more magnificent possibility for the benefit of all life.

From Seasons of the Soul 1996